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How to acknowledge an embarrassing job interview, now that I work directly with the interviewer?


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39















I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.



A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.



I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).



In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.



The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."



A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...



Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:




  1. Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."

  2. Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."


Two is the obvious choice here, right?










share|improve this question









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  • 57





    Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!

    – Kozaky
    8 hours ago






  • 4





    That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.

    – Justin
    8 hours ago








  • 5





    I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...

    – Solar Mike
    8 hours ago
















39















I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.



A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.



I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).



In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.



The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."



A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...



Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:




  1. Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."

  2. Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."


Two is the obvious choice here, right?










share|improve this question









New contributor




bobby is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
















  • 57





    Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!

    – Kozaky
    8 hours ago






  • 4





    That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.

    – Justin
    8 hours ago








  • 5





    I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...

    – Solar Mike
    8 hours ago














39












39








39


1






I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.



A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.



I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).



In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.



The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."



A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...



Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:




  1. Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."

  2. Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."


Two is the obvious choice here, right?










share|improve this question









New contributor




bobby is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.












I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.



A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.



I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).



In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.



The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."



A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...



Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:




  1. Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."

  2. Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."


Two is the obvious choice here, right?







interviewing behavior






share|improve this question









New contributor




bobby is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











share|improve this question









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Check out our Code of Conduct.









share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 17 mins ago









Community

1




1






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asked 9 hours ago









bobbybobby

19623




19623




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New contributor





bobby is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.






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Check out our Code of Conduct.








  • 57





    Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!

    – Kozaky
    8 hours ago






  • 4





    That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.

    – Justin
    8 hours ago








  • 5





    I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...

    – Solar Mike
    8 hours ago














  • 57





    Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!

    – Kozaky
    8 hours ago






  • 4





    That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.

    – Justin
    8 hours ago








  • 5





    I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...

    – Solar Mike
    8 hours ago








57




57





Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!

– Kozaky
8 hours ago





Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!

– Kozaky
8 hours ago




4




4





That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.

– Justin
8 hours ago







That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.

– Justin
8 hours ago






5




5





I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...

– Solar Mike
8 hours ago





I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...

– Solar Mike
8 hours ago










6 Answers
6






active

oldest

votes


















78














There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:




For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.




The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.



Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.






share|improve this answer





















  • 8





    Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).

    – P. Hopkinson
    7 hours ago








  • 1





    Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.

    – Nelson
    3 hours ago








  • 1





    I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do

    – Wmbuch
    2 hours ago








  • 2





    You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.

    – Yakk
    2 hours ago






  • 3





    Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)

    – Dark Hippo
    51 mins ago



















12














I have another option for you. Be:




  • proactive;

  • confident;

  • smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.



You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?




is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.



What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.



IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.



NOTES:




  • you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;

  • there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;

  • some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.






share|improve this answer
























  • How is this proactive?

    – Jonas Praem
    8 hours ago











  • According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.

    – virolino
    8 hours ago













  • "Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."

    – dwizum
    1 hour ago



















10














Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.



You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.



If they they mention it you have two options:



A) Joke about it.



B) Acknowledge it and brush it off



This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.






share|improve this answer


























  • This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.

    – CriminallyVulgar
    2 hours ago











  • Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.

    – Chris Stratton
    1 hour ago





















0














It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.



If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.



On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.



Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.






share|improve this answer































    0















    Simply do your job.



    There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.



    If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.






    share|improve this answer































      -1














      I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.



      If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.



      Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."






      share|improve this answer























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        6 Answers
        6






        active

        oldest

        votes








        6 Answers
        6






        active

        oldest

        votes









        active

        oldest

        votes






        active

        oldest

        votes









        78














        There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:




        For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.




        The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.



        Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.






        share|improve this answer





















        • 8





          Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).

          – P. Hopkinson
          7 hours ago








        • 1





          Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.

          – Nelson
          3 hours ago








        • 1





          I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do

          – Wmbuch
          2 hours ago








        • 2





          You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.

          – Yakk
          2 hours ago






        • 3





          Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)

          – Dark Hippo
          51 mins ago
















        78














        There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:




        For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.




        The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.



        Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.






        share|improve this answer





















        • 8





          Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).

          – P. Hopkinson
          7 hours ago








        • 1





          Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.

          – Nelson
          3 hours ago








        • 1





          I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do

          – Wmbuch
          2 hours ago








        • 2





          You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.

          – Yakk
          2 hours ago






        • 3





          Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)

          – Dark Hippo
          51 mins ago














        78












        78








        78







        There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:




        For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.




        The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.



        Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.






        share|improve this answer















        There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:




        For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.




        The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.



        Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited 3 hours ago









        David K

        24.2k1583123




        24.2k1583123










        answered 7 hours ago









        Karl BrownKarl Brown

        75769




        75769








        • 8





          Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).

          – P. Hopkinson
          7 hours ago








        • 1





          Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.

          – Nelson
          3 hours ago








        • 1





          I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do

          – Wmbuch
          2 hours ago








        • 2





          You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.

          – Yakk
          2 hours ago






        • 3





          Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)

          – Dark Hippo
          51 mins ago














        • 8





          Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).

          – P. Hopkinson
          7 hours ago








        • 1





          Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.

          – Nelson
          3 hours ago








        • 1





          I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do

          – Wmbuch
          2 hours ago








        • 2





          You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.

          – Yakk
          2 hours ago






        • 3





          Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)

          – Dark Hippo
          51 mins ago








        8




        8





        Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).

        – P. Hopkinson
        7 hours ago







        Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).

        – P. Hopkinson
        7 hours ago






        1




        1





        Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.

        – Nelson
        3 hours ago







        Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.

        – Nelson
        3 hours ago






        1




        1





        I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do

        – Wmbuch
        2 hours ago







        I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do

        – Wmbuch
        2 hours ago






        2




        2





        You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.

        – Yakk
        2 hours ago





        You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.

        – Yakk
        2 hours ago




        3




        3





        Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)

        – Dark Hippo
        51 mins ago





        Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)

        – Dark Hippo
        51 mins ago













        12














        I have another option for you. Be:




        • proactive;

        • confident;

        • smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.



        You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?




        is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.



        What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.



        IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.



        NOTES:




        • you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;

        • there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;

        • some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.






        share|improve this answer
























        • How is this proactive?

          – Jonas Praem
          8 hours ago











        • According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.

          – virolino
          8 hours ago













        • "Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."

          – dwizum
          1 hour ago
















        12














        I have another option for you. Be:




        • proactive;

        • confident;

        • smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.



        You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?




        is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.



        What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.



        IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.



        NOTES:




        • you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;

        • there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;

        • some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.






        share|improve this answer
























        • How is this proactive?

          – Jonas Praem
          8 hours ago











        • According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.

          – virolino
          8 hours ago













        • "Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."

          – dwizum
          1 hour ago














        12












        12








        12







        I have another option for you. Be:




        • proactive;

        • confident;

        • smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.



        You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?




        is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.



        What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.



        IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.



        NOTES:




        • you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;

        • there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;

        • some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.






        share|improve this answer













        I have another option for you. Be:




        • proactive;

        • confident;

        • smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.



        You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?




        is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.



        What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.



        IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.



        NOTES:




        • you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;

        • there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;

        • some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered 8 hours ago









        virolinovirolino

        1,989119




        1,989119













        • How is this proactive?

          – Jonas Praem
          8 hours ago











        • According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.

          – virolino
          8 hours ago













        • "Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."

          – dwizum
          1 hour ago



















        • How is this proactive?

          – Jonas Praem
          8 hours ago











        • According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.

          – virolino
          8 hours ago













        • "Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."

          – dwizum
          1 hour ago

















        How is this proactive?

        – Jonas Praem
        8 hours ago





        How is this proactive?

        – Jonas Praem
        8 hours ago













        According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.

        – virolino
        8 hours ago







        According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.

        – virolino
        8 hours ago















        "Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."

        – dwizum
        1 hour ago





        "Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."

        – dwizum
        1 hour ago











        10














        Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.



        You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.



        If they they mention it you have two options:



        A) Joke about it.



        B) Acknowledge it and brush it off



        This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.






        share|improve this answer


























        • This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.

          – CriminallyVulgar
          2 hours ago











        • Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.

          – Chris Stratton
          1 hour ago


















        10














        Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.



        You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.



        If they they mention it you have two options:



        A) Joke about it.



        B) Acknowledge it and brush it off



        This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.






        share|improve this answer


























        • This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.

          – CriminallyVulgar
          2 hours ago











        • Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.

          – Chris Stratton
          1 hour ago
















        10












        10








        10







        Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.



        You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.



        If they they mention it you have two options:



        A) Joke about it.



        B) Acknowledge it and brush it off



        This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.






        share|improve this answer















        Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.



        You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.



        If they they mention it you have two options:



        A) Joke about it.



        B) Acknowledge it and brush it off



        This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.







        share|improve this answer














        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer








        edited 7 hours ago

























        answered 7 hours ago









        TwyxzTwyxz

        12.2k103776




        12.2k103776













        • This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.

          – CriminallyVulgar
          2 hours ago











        • Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.

          – Chris Stratton
          1 hour ago





















        • This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.

          – CriminallyVulgar
          2 hours ago











        • Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.

          – Chris Stratton
          1 hour ago



















        This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.

        – CriminallyVulgar
        2 hours ago





        This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.

        – CriminallyVulgar
        2 hours ago













        Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.

        – Chris Stratton
        1 hour ago







        Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.

        – Chris Stratton
        1 hour ago













        0














        It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.



        If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.



        On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.



        Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.






        share|improve this answer




























          0














          It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.



          If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.



          On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.



          Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.






          share|improve this answer


























            0












            0








            0







            It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.



            If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.



            On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.



            Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.






            share|improve this answer













            It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.



            If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.



            On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.



            Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered 8 hours ago









            A.T.A.T.

            51019




            51019























                0















                Simply do your job.



                There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.



                If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.






                share|improve this answer




























                  0















                  Simply do your job.



                  There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.



                  If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.






                  share|improve this answer


























                    0












                    0








                    0








                    Simply do your job.



                    There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.



                    If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.






                    share|improve this answer














                    Simply do your job.



                    There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.



                    If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.







                    share|improve this answer












                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer










                    answered 21 mins ago









                    MikeyMikey

                    820411




                    820411























                        -1














                        I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.



                        If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.



                        Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."






                        share|improve this answer




























                          -1














                          I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.



                          If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.



                          Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."






                          share|improve this answer


























                            -1












                            -1








                            -1







                            I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.



                            If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.



                            Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."






                            share|improve this answer













                            I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.



                            If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.



                            Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."







                            share|improve this answer












                            share|improve this answer



                            share|improve this answer










                            answered 8 hours ago









                            JustinJustin

                            60016




                            60016






















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