How to acknowledge an embarrassing job interview, now that I work directly with the interviewer?What's the...
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How to acknowledge an embarrassing job interview, now that I work directly with the interviewer?
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I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.
A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.
I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).
In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.
The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."
A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...
Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:
- Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."
- Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."
Two is the obvious choice here, right?
interviewing behavior
New contributor
add a comment |
I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.
A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.
I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).
In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.
The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."
A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...
Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:
- Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."
- Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."
Two is the obvious choice here, right?
interviewing behavior
New contributor
57
Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!
– Kozaky
8 hours ago
4
That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.
– Justin
8 hours ago
5
I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...
– Solar Mike
8 hours ago
add a comment |
I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.
A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.
I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).
In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.
The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."
A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...
Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:
- Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."
- Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."
Two is the obvious choice here, right?
interviewing behavior
New contributor
I work at Mega Large Software Company Inc.
A year ago I was a new hire and very unhappy with my position, so I interviewed around internally in this massive company.
I had major anxiety issues at the time (panic disorder).
In one interview, I crashed and burned on a softball question, hard. Like panic attack, stammering, unable to comprehend what the interviewer was asking, etc. I was the last person on Earth you'd want on your team. Horribly, horribly embarrassing. What made it worse is this interviewer was not the type who made the interviewee relaxed and comfortable; his style was more "push hard and see if the interviewee can take it, or crumbles." And I crumbled like none before.
The same day I got an email from the manager, just your classic "We're going with someone more suited for the position."
A year later, I'm still in my original position but loving it now. I was promoted twice. The panicking is over. Things are good. Except the team I interviewed with is now merging with my team. And I'm soon going to be working directly with this interviewer who witnessed me crash and burn, and who denied me a position in the same company we both still work in...
Our teams are going to be "meeting each other for the first time" next week. When I meet this fellow, I'm trying to determine what approach to take:
- Don't ask don't tell. I won't bring it up first, but if he mentions it I'll say "yeah, we have met before, good to be working with you."
- Be proactive and direct and confident. Upon meeting: "Hey, nice to see you again! Remember me? Last time didn't go so well. This time will be better."
Two is the obvious choice here, right?
interviewing behavior
interviewing behavior
New contributor
New contributor
edited 17 mins ago
Community♦
1
1
New contributor
asked 9 hours ago
bobbybobby
19623
19623
New contributor
New contributor
57
Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!
– Kozaky
8 hours ago
4
That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.
– Justin
8 hours ago
5
I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...
– Solar Mike
8 hours ago
add a comment |
57
Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!
– Kozaky
8 hours ago
4
That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.
– Justin
8 hours ago
5
I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...
– Solar Mike
8 hours ago
57
57
Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!
– Kozaky
8 hours ago
Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!
– Kozaky
8 hours ago
4
4
That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.
– Justin
8 hours ago
That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.
– Justin
8 hours ago
5
5
I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...
– Solar Mike
8 hours ago
I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...
– Solar Mike
8 hours ago
add a comment |
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:
For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.
Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.
8
Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).
– P. Hopkinson
7 hours ago
1
Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.
– Nelson
3 hours ago
1
I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do
– Wmbuch
2 hours ago
2
You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.
– Yakk
2 hours ago
3
Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)
– Dark Hippo
51 mins ago
|
show 3 more comments
I have another option for you. Be:
- proactive;
- confident;
- smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.
You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?
is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.
What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.
IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.
NOTES:
- you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;
- there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;
- some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.
How is this proactive?
– Jonas Praem
8 hours ago
According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.
– virolino
8 hours ago
"Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."
– dwizum
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.
You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.
If they they mention it you have two options:
A) Joke about it.
B) Acknowledge it and brush it off
This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.
This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.
– CriminallyVulgar
2 hours ago
Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.
– Chris Stratton
1 hour ago
add a comment |
It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.
If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.
On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.
Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.
add a comment |
Simply do your job.
There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.
If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.
add a comment |
I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.
If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.
Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."
add a comment |
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6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:
For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.
Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.
8
Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).
– P. Hopkinson
7 hours ago
1
Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.
– Nelson
3 hours ago
1
I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do
– Wmbuch
2 hours ago
2
You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.
– Yakk
2 hours ago
3
Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)
– Dark Hippo
51 mins ago
|
show 3 more comments
There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:
For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.
Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.
8
Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).
– P. Hopkinson
7 hours ago
1
Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.
– Nelson
3 hours ago
1
I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do
– Wmbuch
2 hours ago
2
You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.
– Yakk
2 hours ago
3
Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)
– Dark Hippo
51 mins ago
|
show 3 more comments
There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:
For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.
Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.
There's a quote from the Street Fighter film which sums it up:
For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
The problem with bringing it up first is that you're likely to be reminding them of something that they'd forgotten about. I've interviewed people before and once the decision's made about not offering them the job, I tend to forget what happened in the interview. The manager may not have even noticed the performance as much as you think - I know I'm my own worst critic and blow things out of proportion in my mind that other people around me don't even notice.
Just because it was an important time for you, doesn't mean it stuck in their memory.
edited 3 hours ago
David K
24.2k1583123
24.2k1583123
answered 7 hours ago
Karl BrownKarl Brown
75769
75769
8
Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).
– P. Hopkinson
7 hours ago
1
Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.
– Nelson
3 hours ago
1
I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do
– Wmbuch
2 hours ago
2
You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.
– Yakk
2 hours ago
3
Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)
– Dark Hippo
51 mins ago
|
show 3 more comments
8
Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).
– P. Hopkinson
7 hours ago
1
Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.
– Nelson
3 hours ago
1
I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do
– Wmbuch
2 hours ago
2
You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.
– Yakk
2 hours ago
3
Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)
– Dark Hippo
51 mins ago
8
8
Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).
– P. Hopkinson
7 hours ago
Upvoted for the quote and excellent insight but I disagree with the conclusion. It might be fairer to say that this felt like a big deal to the OP but won't be a big deal to the interviewer ('d expect them to remember the event but not to care about it).
– P. Hopkinson
7 hours ago
1
1
Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.
– Nelson
3 hours ago
Honestly if the only thing you did was meltdown but didn't do anything personally insulting, I really doubt he'll remember. All of my memorable moments are due to things being personal, and even then, it has to be a really deep level before i remember who it was.
– Nelson
3 hours ago
1
1
I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do
– Wmbuch
2 hours ago
I once had a terrible, embarrassing interview. A while later a friend of mine ended up getting a position working directly under the guy who interviewed me. My friend told me one day how his boss was joking around about bad interviews he had conducted. He recounted one of the incidents he had been told of, and it was unmistakably my interview. I laughed it off because I thought it was a funny coincidence; I've moved on from that interview. But it shows that while it might not be healthy to believe everyone remembers/cares about the embarrassing things you've done...some people unfortunately do
– Wmbuch
2 hours ago
2
2
You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.
– Yakk
2 hours ago
You answered on Friday not Tuesday. The quote is inaccurate. -1.
– Yakk
2 hours ago
3
3
Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)
– Dark Hippo
51 mins ago
Upvoted for quoting Street Fighter (plus, it's one of my favourite quotes and I think it really relevant in this particular case)
– Dark Hippo
51 mins ago
|
show 3 more comments
I have another option for you. Be:
- proactive;
- confident;
- smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.
You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?
is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.
What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.
IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.
NOTES:
- you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;
- there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;
- some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.
How is this proactive?
– Jonas Praem
8 hours ago
According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.
– virolino
8 hours ago
"Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."
– dwizum
1 hour ago
add a comment |
I have another option for you. Be:
- proactive;
- confident;
- smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.
You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?
is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.
What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.
IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.
NOTES:
- you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;
- there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;
- some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.
How is this proactive?
– Jonas Praem
8 hours ago
According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.
– virolino
8 hours ago
"Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."
– dwizum
1 hour ago
add a comment |
I have another option for you. Be:
- proactive;
- confident;
- smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.
You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?
is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.
What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.
IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.
NOTES:
- you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;
- there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;
- some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.
I have another option for you. Be:
- proactive;
- confident;
- smart: do not place yourself in a position of inferiority if it is not needed.
You know, I am the "special" guy with the panic, remember?
is never the good way to connect to people - especially in your situation now.
What happened years ago happened years ago. Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else.
IF the person reminds you about the "panic" situation, acknowledge it, smile, make a comment about it being in the past.
NOTES:
- you can always improve about being stronger, both physically and mentally; you can learn to control your emotions and panic - as you already learned;
- there is always a chance that you will panic again in the future; do not fret about it, it can happen to anyone; learn to get over it gracefully;
- some people just enjoy "crushing" other people. Learn to no not give in to the crushing.
answered 8 hours ago
virolinovirolino
1,989119
1,989119
How is this proactive?
– Jonas Praem
8 hours ago
According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.
– virolino
8 hours ago
"Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."
– dwizum
1 hour ago
add a comment |
How is this proactive?
– Jonas Praem
8 hours ago
According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.
– virolino
8 hours ago
"Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."
– dwizum
1 hour ago
How is this proactive?
– Jonas Praem
8 hours ago
How is this proactive?
– Jonas Praem
8 hours ago
According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.
– virolino
8 hours ago
According to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proactivity , proactive means to be prepared for what will come. If you refer to a specific action, the part with "Just interact with the person like you interact with anyone else." is actually the proactive part. In this situation, there is no need to do anything special. If I were in this situation, I would not even bother to say anything about the fact that we know each other. It brings no benefit. As I said in the answer, if the other person initiates dialogue on the subject, acknowledgement is enough.
– virolino
8 hours ago
"Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."
– dwizum
1 hour ago
"Proactive" aside, I think the important content in this answer is, "let your actions and results speak for themselves."
– dwizum
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.
You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.
If they they mention it you have two options:
A) Joke about it.
B) Acknowledge it and brush it off
This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.
This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.
– CriminallyVulgar
2 hours ago
Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.
– Chris Stratton
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.
You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.
If they they mention it you have two options:
A) Joke about it.
B) Acknowledge it and brush it off
This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.
This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.
– CriminallyVulgar
2 hours ago
Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.
– Chris Stratton
1 hour ago
add a comment |
Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.
You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.
If they they mention it you have two options:
A) Joke about it.
B) Acknowledge it and brush it off
This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.
Don't say anything at all. There's no point in bringing up things that happened in the past. You don't want to make the interviewer think that you've been thinking about it all this time.
You've reached the same level as the interviewer is and you are in a role you are happy doing.
If they they mention it you have two options:
A) Joke about it.
B) Acknowledge it and brush it off
This completely depends on your personality. Neither of which are either good or bad, just conversation. Remember you don't owe this person anything, take personal joy that you reached the same level but it doesn't need to be brought up.
edited 7 hours ago
answered 7 hours ago
TwyxzTwyxz
12.2k103776
12.2k103776
This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.
– CriminallyVulgar
2 hours ago
Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.
– Chris Stratton
1 hour ago
add a comment |
This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.
– CriminallyVulgar
2 hours ago
Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.
– Chris Stratton
1 hour ago
This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.
– CriminallyVulgar
2 hours ago
This is the tack I would take. Be prepared for them to bring it up, have a couple of low-intensity responses ready, but don't be the one to push the conversation that way.
– CriminallyVulgar
2 hours ago
Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.
– Chris Stratton
1 hour ago
Not making an issue of it is probably the right approach. But comparing levels in the company is an unhealthy direction of thought which you seem to have introduced without any basis on information in the question. The asker knows the quality of their own recent work, and the quality of their work on the coming joint project is what will matter to the other person, or at least what they should hope will if the other person gives any thought to them at all.
– Chris Stratton
1 hour ago
add a comment |
It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.
If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.
On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.
Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.
add a comment |
It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.
If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.
On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.
Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.
add a comment |
It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.
If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.
On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.
Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.
It depends on your personality, the company culture and how do you want to frame your next relationship with him.
If you just want to be casual and have a somewhat nice relationship with him, I would just break the ice with your second option. Specially since now you are at a higher position than before and you have proved that you have what it takes to hold a job in the company.
On the other hand, if you are socially awkward, and just want a dry, just work related, serious relationship with him, I would just let it be and not say anything. Anyways, your work and day to day interactions are going to be more than enough to prove him you are not a worthless crazy coworker and you will earn his respect with time.
Just don't fake anything. Do what you are more confortable doing.
answered 8 hours ago
A.T.A.T.
51019
51019
add a comment |
add a comment |
Simply do your job.
There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.
If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.
add a comment |
Simply do your job.
There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.
If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.
add a comment |
Simply do your job.
There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.
If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.
Simply do your job.
There's no reason to acknowledge the past, if it does not affect your present situation.
If you become social in years to come, after you've continued to demonstrate your merit, you want to say "hey, remember that time when..." then that is your social prerogative outside of the office to share a joke with a colleague who has become a friend.
answered 21 mins ago
MikeyMikey
820411
820411
add a comment |
add a comment |
I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.
If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.
Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."
add a comment |
I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.
If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.
Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."
add a comment |
I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.
If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.
Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."
I'd go with 2, but don't do it in front of more than a couple of people, ideally one/some of your existing team.
If you don't get it over with you'll be avoiding this fellow for months.
Start off with a handshake, and "Oh yeah, it didn't go so well last year, did it? {shrug} I suppose everyone has off days". Then move the conversation forward. When asked about it (by others in the newly formed group), be honest - "Yeah, I was going through a bad time, and probably shouldn't have been interviewing. All good now."
answered 8 hours ago
JustinJustin
60016
60016
add a comment |
add a comment |
bobby is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
bobby is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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bobby is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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Whatever happens, I hope you take some personal pride in the fact that you got to the same corporate level as your interviewer (promoted twice!) less than a year after he rejected you! With another year, he could be getting interviewed by you!
– Kozaky
8 hours ago
4
That's a really positive attitude, @Kozaky. I wish I'd written that. OP, take note.
– Justin
8 hours ago
5
I would go with option2, but only the first part "Hey, nice to see you again!", they know you have improved, they will have been checking the teams...
– Solar Mike
8 hours ago